telling someone for the first time

if you are being abused in any way, physically or sexually, or you are being bullied, the first thing you should do is look around you at the people in your life

if there is an adult in your life who seems to be a good person ... honest ... strong ... or just seems to understand you ... chances are they are a good person to start with

start off by telling them you have a serious problem that you need help with ... any adult who cares about you will at least listen ... if they start behaving like a complete muppet then you can always stop and say you can’t talk about it at the moment ... if they don’t now what to say or can’t seem to help ask them to tell you someone they know who might be able to help you

remember that nobody should make you do anything ... if you are not ready to tell the police or your parents then don’t ... do things when you are ready and not before ... telling someone about what is happening to you is difficult and adults should respect that and let you take your time

sometimes adults/parents/friends panic and say and do stupid things when you tell them something ... don’t worry just because they are older than you doesn’t mean they can’t behave like idiots sometimes

sometimes adults don’t believe you when you tell them about something bad ... this can be because they just find it hard to believe that something so terrible was happening and they didn’t see it ... sometimes it is because they feel guilty that they didn’t know about it and stop it ... some people are scared about what it will mean to go to the police and what might happen

and it has to be said some adults know so little about anything that they say stupid things and can even make you feel bad for telling them something

if you try to tell an adult and they are not very helpful or don’t listen

don’t give up

it is right that you tell someone if you need to

have a little rest ... think of someone else ... try again

if it is difficult and you struggle to find the words

you could write it down and read it out

or call Childline or another helpline and try saying it to someone you don’t know first